Watch Out: It's the Knitting Bandit!

In order to appreciate the little anecdote I've come in here to share, you'll need a wee bit of background information.

Me. Of course.

My little 17 lb. chihuahua mix has been missing for more than a month. There were no sightings at all for a couple of weeks and then BAM: 4 sightings in 3 days from the same general area. My dog was abused as a baby and then spent the next portion of his life living under a bridge and trying to attack anything that drove over it (yes, the troll under the bridge). It took animal control two weeks of avid trapping to finally catch the little guy and then quite a bit of time at the shelter to get him to emerge from his shell at all.

When I heard his story I knew he was exactly the 4-legged companion I was searching for. I adopted him sight-unseen and brought him home. It took over a week of coaxing to get him to use the bathroom outdoors (a nightmare time for those of us who had to clean up behind him!) and he did not know how to even play like a dog. My cat taught him. So, he plays like a cat. He ended up choosing me as his person and would only allow me to pet him- even then, only if he laid close beside me.

Alexander still tolerated me

We've gotten closer over the time I've had him (a couple of years) but he still has a special hatred for anyone other than me and leashes in general. But, he is very good at surviving in the wild- as he has proven yet again! In all of the sightings he has been reported to be well fed and moving fast. The struggle, of course, is that he will only come to me and he is very elusive. Thus, the solution is to get myself in a place where he can smell and hear me at the same time that he is in that area.

This brings us up to this morning when I decided it was a lovely, sunny day and just perfect for packing up my knitting and a chair and planting myself in various places around the area he's been haunting while calling for him. To make the experience even more exciting- it was recommended that I go without a shower so he would be more likely to smell me. So there I was, in all my odoriffic glory, kicking back with my knitting at the side of a road and calling for him periodically. Many people drove by or were out in their yards while studiously ignoring me. Finally a woman walked by with some kids and asked how I was doing. I told her what I was up to, described my dog, and she said they would keep an eye out. One of the girls she was with said that she had seen Alexander in her backyard and that she lived further down the street.

sharp, pointy weapons of terror

So after about an hour, I moved further down, found a place right by the street and far away from houses (in hopes of not encroaching on anyone's territory) and set up with my knitting and calling again. About fifteen minutes into this I noticed a short, aggressive looking woman stalking toward me while puffing angrily on her cigarette: "What is this? Do you just go about town plopping your ass on people's properties and knitting?" In this moment I had a choice... and looking back, part of me wishes I had made the irresponsible one: to reply that indeed, that is how I get my thrills mwahahaha! Then load up my stuff and drive away without another word. If I had gone that route then it would have given me a good laugh and maybe she would have felt like a jerk later when her daughter and neighbors told her what I was really doing. But no. I am far too responsible for my own good.

So I tried to tell her what I was doing and soothe her by packing up my knitting and chair, assuring her I would find a different area to look. She was not soothed. Not at all. In fact, when she heard that a young skating girl had mentioned seeing Alexander in her backyard, she turned her attack on said young lady. It turned out that this girl is her six year old daughter. After berating that poor child (I couldn't get a word in) she turned on me, belittling me for listening to a six year old (she really was not hearing my repeated assertions that multiple people had spotted him here) and then told me to just go back to my knitting, she would move herself and her kids to the backyard.

I should return and knit her trees sweaters for revenge

I packed up my stuff and just left as fast as I could. Whet did she think I was going to do? Hurt her and her kids with my knitting needles? But more importantly, I felt bad for the little girl. She sounded far more reasonable than her mother and didn't deserve to be treated so poorly. I was hoping if I left, her mom would forget her anger faster.

Maybe if I wafted my armpits about I would have had beeter luck finding Alexander... (and keeping away psycho-bitch!)