And I don't care how enlightened you think you are- you are being a pain in the ass to someone. In my childhood I made vocal judgements about people that I genuinely didn't think were mean but as years pass and we grow in maturity and knowledge we can see how our choices may not have been wise. It's the same for each stage of life. And quite frankly, the more people believe they have things figured out, the more likely that they are unknowing turds.For those of us who live our lives trying to make everyone around us happy, this is a bleak and rather frightening reality. Even more frightening is the realization we eventually have to come to: it is impossible to make everyone happy.
Why then do we keep trying so hard? For me, I feel panicky if I think people are angry with me. I shy away from confrontation but I also ache inside when I know I've hurt someone (unless it's my ex... since he hurt my kids and I have learned what an apparent monster he is, I've lost that desire to make him happy or see him not hurt) I want people around me to like and accept me: so much that I give up parts of who I am to win their approval. And it doesn't help me in the least.
Now the knowing is one thing. Doing something about it? Changing my needs? Learning to be more assertive? Yipes! A difficult task.
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