Testing the Water

I decided it was time to dip my toes into the dating scene and see how the water felt. Results? The water is murky, slimy, and (I am quite certain) pure poison. Okay, I am sure that there are good men out there. However, they appear to be hiding from me and quite frankly, I'm not sure I have it in me to go out hunting for them!



Two blind dates- one of which ended with my delightful date in a drunken stupor and the other which ended as abruptly as I could manage- and him asking me for a ride him.... I refuse to accept any and all blind dates in the future!
Than there was a guy who was so handsome... I could have just looked at him all day. Exactly my sort of guy appearance-wise! Until he opened his mouth. So incredibly boring that I could not bear to continue any sort of relationship.

I suppose it says something about me that the only guy I continue to hold out any hope on is one who has some fairly major mental health issues- and chooses not to medicate. He's unique and keeps me guessing. And most of the time I wonder what on earth I'm doing with him... until out of nowhere an incredibly intelligent conversation will emerge or he will do something so sweet it leaves me all melty. He also scores points for constantly wanting to be moving (a result of his mental health issues) and finding carpentry and repairs to be fun. He would be quite the handy man to have around! Not to mention his hunting and fishing skills. And we share remarkably similar goals for the future. We're just working on building a friendship at this point and that sure works for me.

I'd really thought a man from my past would be THE one. But despite what he says, his lack of active interest tells me he is not. If he was then he would at least be communicating in some manner. Honestly that is the biggest sadness- but also a positive thing to finally know. To start actively and aggressively eradicating those hopes and thoughts that involved him. It will take time but I need to adjust my view of him from being a potential mate to just friendship.

All in all, this dating game may be a bit over my head still. And the really cool thing is that I'm okay with that. I'm fairly content being single and I choose not to "settle".